Another hat in the ring

Fermilab docent Wendy Mouche nominates Dudley Do-Right for Fermilab deputy director.

Editor’s note: In yesterday’s April Fool’s Day issue, we ran an In Brief on the final four candidates for the laboratory’s deputy director. Wendy Mouche objected to the narrow selection, nominating another. We note that, unlike the other four, Do-Right is not already a deputy.

April 1, 2014

Dear Fermilab Today,

Please reconsider your final candidate pool. Dudley Do-Right is your man. A brief survey of his background highlights his illustrious career, including the following qualifications:

  1. He is conscientious and cheerful.
  2. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, of which he is a member, are unique in the world as a national, federal, provincial and municipal policing body. This is surely important given our local setting and our status as a national lab.
  3. He is responsible for an unusually broad set of duties. Why, he could be our “officer friendly” too, eh!
  4. The RCMP can patrol with sled dogs — a distinct advantage, given the snowfall this past winter.
  5. He knows how to ride horses, so he would be able to patrol our prairie quadrats inside the Main Injectre.

If the candidate list is closed, perhaps you would consider this highly qualified candidate at a future date. It’s aboot time.

In all sincerity,
Wendy Mouche
FermiLab Docent