Advice from Auntie Proton: How to find your super partner

Dear Auntie Proton: I think I’m pretty cool. I have some nice curves and some moments where I feel uniquely (almost anomalously?) magnetic. But I still can’t find anyone to bond with. I’m so tired of being alone and feeling incomplete. How do I find my super partner?

-Mighty Unloved, Overly Neglected

Dear MUON: I think you need to change your frame of reference. Before you can find a super partner to make tracks with, learn to be happy with yourself, by yourself. There’s no need to be negative about your prospects, MU. Things will only decay with that attitude! Don’t worry so much about when you’ll collide with your match. (Less MU for He, more MU to ME.) Enjoy all the world has to offer, from the atmosphere to deep underground and everywhere in between. Explore new places with a new energy. Connect with friends, families and groups. Try new things, meet new people, and discern what you really want in a partner. But don’t try to keep your heart unbroken — and don’t let anyone string you along. Remember: It’s rare that someone will be lucky enough to find his or her perfect partner right away. Most of us look for that super partner for a long while — and sometimes we never find them. Perhaps the trick is to find a decent partner, share experiences with them, and make something super together. But that’s just my theory.