November Ne’erdowellness

It’s time to walk to run away, everyone. Photo: Reidar Hahn Shot First


Walk to Run Away

This free 10-week program teaches you to flee from the inevitable zombie horde intent on harvesting your sweet, sweet brains. Improve fitness, cardiovascular health and your ability to scream while dodging a variety of natural and unnatural obstacles. All are welcome regardless of age, speed, experience or terror level. Wear athletic shoes, and bring anything you would foolishly attempt to carry with you in the event of a zombie apocalypse. For more info or if interested contact Screamme Ecker at

Date: Thursdays, Nov. 2-Jan. 4

Time: 4:45 p.m. until you just can’t go any further

Location: Outside Wilson Hall, east side employee entrance



Muscle Toning Through Cauldron-Stirring

Join your fellow potions-masters to brew up some delicious concoctions, and stay fit at the same time. This arm-burning, hour-long class will target your biceps, triceps and any other ceps you have lying around. Build stronger muscles, wrists and joints while expanding your repertoire of elixirs. All equipment is provided, though attendees are welcome to bring their favorite stirring spoons.

Date: Mondays and Wednesdays, Nov. 6-Jan. 10

Time: 5-6 p.m.

Location: Fitness Center Potions Room

Fee: Eye of newt, toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog



Time Travel, Paradoxes and You

Changing time impacts all aspects of life – and not just your own. Explore how you ruined everything that one time you tampered with things that should not be tampered with, Steve.

Available on-demand two weeks ago.

Username: Fearmilab

Password: EEP



Half-price on solo skydiving flights for any Fermilab vampires from Skydive Chicago in Ottawa, IL. (Parachute not included). More details at

Fermilab employees who show their badge at Pam’s Pumpkin Emporium (555-786-7546) will get 10 percent off their pumpkin purchase and 20 percent off of slightly damaged or otherwise cosmetically imperfect pumpkins that need a good home.