Photographic evidence of RBoaST

A theory that’s full, not of hot air, but rather of something lighter such as helium, has been quietly advanced by a small group in the Fear Me Lab community. It’s called the Red Balloon on a String Theory, or RBoaST.

Unlike string theory, which postulates that the universe’s stuff is composed, at bottom, of vibrating, one-dimensional strings, RBoaST claims a second-order correction. According to RBoaST, at the end of every one-dimensional string is a collection of strings that arrange themselves into an indeterminate, but definitively three-dimensional, form. Scientists colloquially call this form a balloon. (It has no known hue, but communication-conscious scientists recognized that “red balloon” would stick in minds better than the image of a colorless shape.)

A group of scientists have now detected elusive evidence of the theory. These fundamental components — balloons on a string — have been captured by detectors known as cameras in fleeting moments during which the strings grew to trillions of trillions of times their usual size. It is miraculous that the group were able to detect several instances of this blink-and-you-miss-it phenomenon, called ballooning, just before the structure popped, reducing it once again to its Planck length.

Ballooning had not, until now, been a prediction of RBoaST, so theorists are working to incorporate the process into their models.

Inconceivable at the time of the theory’s inception, scientists can offer visual evidence of RBoaST, which we publish here. It is as convincing as any plot we’ve ever seen.