Zoom Room: boon or doom?

The Comitium is one of three enviable Zoom rooms — swoon.

The Comitium is one of three enviable Zoom rooms — swoon.

“We’re over the moon for the new Zoom Rooms,” croons Katie Yurkewicz. “It’s a real boon for those who fume when they can’t commune with those off site, whether cocooned in Bloomingdale, Cancun or Khartoum.”

You probably knew that Fermilab has switched from ReadyTalk to Zoom for conferencing. But a strange affliction has started to bloom: Zoom Room Gloom. This misfortune, for whom it concerns, is a case of the blues when someone cannot reserve a Zoom Room, often in the afternoon.

Zoom Rooms are becoming heirlooms, and openings are rapidly consumed by a typhoon of Zoom Room Tycoons.

“It can spell doom to assume you’ll get a Zoom Room,” swoons Maxine Hronek, who knows the importance of a good connection for an international collaboration. “We’re not immune. We’d be lampooned as buffoons not attuned to DUNE’s needs, then Boom! Displumed!”

But others sing a different tune.

“It’s opportune that any videoconference room can also be a Zoom Room when you connect to Zoom,” booms Sheila Cisko. “And more Zoom Rooms are coming soon – vroom, vroom! So, no more sad bassoons.”

Zoom Rooms, which feature special hardware such as iPads, are strewn throughout the site, with three currently available in Wilson Hall: Comitium, Quarium and Woodshed. They can be scheduled with a nom de plume.